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Introducing “Daily Palin,” in which we detail Sarah Palin’s refusal to go away—every day. The morning news from across everyone’s favorite bridge to nowhere:
* DON’T READ Sarah Palin Erotica—-that way you won’t be forced to contemplate Palin’s brain and her vagina in the same breath:
She stands in the cramped bathroom and stares at her reflection in the small, dirty mirror. An aide is rapping his knuckles against the door insistently, but she ignores him, the roar of plane engines, the incessant buzz of the press corps, her cell phone beeping in her purse. “I am Sarah Palin. I am the future president of the United States,” she says softly, allowing the corners of her mouth to curl. Carefully, she smoothes the wrinkles out of her blouse and skirt, makes sure she’s showing some cleavage, and gives her shoulders a little shake. She has been repeating this mantra for weeks now and every single time, she feels a rush of sensation between her ears and her thighs. In these vainglorious moments, she doesn’t think of the old man who brought her here or Todd or the kids or the one on the way. No. She thinks about herself and she likes it.
* OPPOSITE DAY: The Altantic suggests that Sarah Palin‘s pulling out of this month’s CPAC dinner is meant to shy from the national spotlight . . . in order to later reclaim the national spotlight. Writes Justin Miller: “Sarah Palin is pulling back from her post-election media spree by withdrawing from CPAC, a move that can only help her if she wants a national political role. Palin’s pull out CPAC is striking because it represents a break in her media modus operandi, which has been to make waves every month since the election. . . . With continual attention from August to January, Palin courted overexposure, but looks to be avoiding it this month.”
* OBAMA & PALIN: PEN PALS? On natural gas pipeline: “Gov. Sarah Palin wrote to Obama last week asking him to discuss the pipeline with Prime Minister Stephen Harper when he visits Canada next week during his first foreign trip as president.”
* OKAY: “Sarah Palin “plans to travel to struggling villages“: “The governor said again she’s willing to travel to rural villages, but some villagers are wondering when that’s going to happen.Palin says members of her staff have taken a number of trips to the remote village of Emmonak, but at least one lawmaker has said he would like to see less talk and more action.”
* HUBBA HUBBA: AlterNet claims Palin’s brief Veep candidacy ushered in “the rise of the Playboy electorate“: “The truth is that Palin owes a lot to men. Men influenced her message, her method and certainly how she was marketed to the American public.”
* FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner thinks the Tesoro Iron Dog race, the Alaska snowmobile race in which Todd Palin is competing, is for pussies: “it could be a lot tougher if racers didn’t get to sleep more than they ride,” writes Tim Mowry, before totally backpeddalling! “Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for Iron Dog racers. They’re tough as nails and have a lot more guts than I do racing their snowmachines across the Alaska wilderness at speeds of more than 100 mph in the middle of the night.”
* OKAY. More Palin erotica! Fun game: Is it Obama or Biden?
She will stare at her reflection in the TV screen and imagine her opponent standing behind her, one hand in her hair, yanking her head back, bruising her lips with his, nipping his tongue with her teeth. She’ll imagine her opponent twisting her nipples between his fingers until she cries out, then twisting them harder, hard enough that her knees buckle. She imagines him pulling her back up and slapping her hard enough to make her jump. She imagines him making her say his name. She imagines him making her beg. She comes, thinking about her opponent buried deep inside her, fucking so hard that her body starts to come apart. Then she will remember Conor.
Photo by er3456