Introducing “Daily Palin,” in which we detail Sarah Palin’s refusal to go away—every day. The morning news from behind Palin’s fake, nonprescription lenses:
DEFENDING SARAH: DraftPalin2012 has crafted this handy guide to fielding Palin criticisms from friends, lovers, feminists, etc:
STEP ONE: BLAME THE BLOGS. “In answering criticisms about Sarah we need to be very brief and direct. When something is a lie, such as ‘Bristol is really Trig’s mother,’ we need to say: ‘That is a lie spread by the Obama Campaign through its loyal servants at The Daily Kos.’ Period.”
STEP TWO: KNOW YOUR HISTORY. “When a feminist says, ‘Sarah wears clear glasses to make her look intellectual,’ we should say: ‘Sarah has been near-sighted since childhood, like her daughter Piper, and she’s worn glasses since she was 10.’ Period.”
STEP THREE: DENY. “When someone says, ‘Well, Sarah implied they sold [former Alaska Governor] Murkowski’s jet on E-Bay,’ we reply: ‘She never said it. She never implied it. They tried to sell it on E-Bay and, when they didn’t get the offers they wanted, they sold it through a broker. It was sold—-period—-and Sarah never used it.'”
PERIOD.
ON THE RECORD: Palin appeared on Greta Van Sustren‘s show last night, revealing many things! In other news, I do not have a television.
BUY LIKE PALIN: Sarah Palin’s favorite store, an Anchorage thrift store called ”Out of the Closet,” has changed its name after complaints from the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, which owns the name (and its own chain of charity shops). According to the L.A. Times, “The shop’s new name is ‘Second Run.’ With a name like that, it can still be Sarah Palin’s favorite store. She can buy her 2012 campaign wardrobe there. With her own money.”
LEVI AND BRISTOL: SEPARATED BEFORE MARRIAGE? Trailblazer author Lorenzo Benet has the deets: “Bristol lived in Anchorage with her aunt and uncle while she was pregnant. She worked at two espresso shops and remained a full time student at West High School. Levi was 40 miles away in Wasilla, but he would still drive to Anchorage to take Bristol out.”
FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: One lucky Alaskan snapped a photo with 1D after his Iron Dog dismount. “Todd Palin after 2000 miles on a snow machine (that’s a snow mobile for all of us in the Outside) without a shower is still one hot dude! Don’t you agree?” she writes. I don’t not agree!
QUICK PALIN QUOTE FROM SOMEONE WHOSE OPINION DOESN’T MATTER: Janeane Garofalo on Palin: “An asshole is an asshole regardless of gender.”
ADD IT TO THE BLOGROLL: There’s a Blogspot dedicated to “Praying for the Palin Family.” Sample prayer:
Good morning Father,
Today is the first day of February and I pray that as we move about our business of worshiping you, we will remember to pray for others. Lord, I pray that this month you will work in our hearts. I ask that you soften them so we will be more loving and compassionate towards all people. Lord, help us to love those who hate us.
Lord, I know that many would love to see Sarah and her family fail but Lord I pray that you will protect her an keep her shielded from harm. Lord, give her the strength to love those who desire her harm and ill will. Lord, keep her heart and ours soft and ready to love at all times.
Lord, keep us tender in the name of Jesus
Amen.
Photo by fimoculous