Get our free newsletter
DUR: GOP needs to get smart, says The Young Turks. “Obama won because he’s smart. . . . I enjoy having a beer with my brother in-law, but I wouldn’t want him running the country. He’s an idiot! Sure, people like a candidate they can relate to, but when it comes down to the crunch, Americans want smart leaders, not drinking buddies.” Joe Six Pack, we hardly knew ye.
TROOPERGATE CONTINUES: Somebody doesn’t like Kim Elton. And it’s not Sarah Palin! Oh, it is just some blogger. “Surprise. Surprise. President Barack Obama has done a nationwide search and appointed the Chairman of the Troopergate investigation as Director of Alaskan Affairs at the Interior Department. Is this a case of political payback for a smear job well done on Governor Sarah Palin??? Yes!”
FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: Todd Palin‘s legacy: ushering the contiguous U.S. into the awesome world of the Tesoro Iron Dog. “at 1,971 miles (3,172 km), it is the longest snowmobile race in the world. The 2008 event featured a record forty teams competing for a $100,000 purse, with $25,000 awarded to the winners and attracted worldwide attention when 4-time winner Todd Palin’s wife, Sarah, campaigned for vice presidency of the United States.
THE TRIG-AIN’T-HER-BABY RUMORS CONTINUE. The Immortal Majority parses Lorenzo Benet‘s Trailblazer and suggests (as reported previously by rumermongering liberal bloggers): Trig ain’t her baby. Could page 185 finally reveal the truth?
A few minutes before leaving work on March 5, Sarah held a press conference in her Juneau office and finally announced her pregnancy. She said. “Expect a new member of the first family,” and then she headed out to a reception at the Baranof Hotel with her family to dine on king crab. reporters stood there in disbelief. In fact, Sarah had to announce the pregnancy in three different ways before anyone knew what she was talking about. “That the pregnancy is so advanced astonished all who heard the news,” the Daily News reported, “The governor, a runner who’s always trim, simply doesn’t look pregnant.” Not even her staff was aware until the same day, “I thought it was becoming obvious,” Sarah said, “Clothes getting snugger and snugger.” (Emphasis mine, pg. 185)
So, Bristol Palin pulled a Britney and got pregnant twice in a row? Does this make her more or less qualified to be a teen pregnancy spokesmom? Discuss.
STRIPPER BOOTS: YEA OR NAY? The Mormon Times, for some reason, speculates as to whether or not men actually like women who wear “stripper boots.” Sarah Palin is involved, somehow.
Ann Cannon on her favorite boots: “They’re soft and brown and dressy, and whenever I wear them I feel exactly like Posh Spice—-that is if Posh Spice was a size-12 middle-age Mormon lady, who bought all her clothes at Target.”
I love Ann Cannon and her stripper boots. But Cannon’s teenage son does not like her stripper boots, which has totally thrown Cannon’s Palin theory for a loop. Cannon writes” “I thought that was one of the reasons men liked Sarah Palin so much—-because she always had those sexy stripper boots on whenever she and Todd got off the airplane.”
My God, Cannon, you’ve cracked the code!
Photo by Bright Meadow