Who hasn’t wanted to sample the essence of manliness infused in an excellent source of non-animal protein? Everybody!
As it turns out, all you have to do to get George Clooney‘s attention is steal one of his sweat-soaked gym towels and threaten to extract its flavor to market as a celeb-flavored vegetarian alternative. If you thought PETA’s oversexed ads were hard to stomach, consider CloFu: Tofu flavored by Clooney’s sweat glands that would “spare animals from being killed for the table.”
After some hippie recovered Clooney’s discarded towel and offered it up for a PETA fundraiser, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk “immediately thought of using his perspiration for bean curd.”
Is that vegan? Whatever. Newkirk actually wrote Cloon a letter asking for his permission to use his flavor, and Clooney actually replied.
He said no. “As a mammal, I’m offended,” he said.