Sign up for our free newsletter
Free D.C. news, delivered to your inbox daily.
Are you mature enough for this?
FINALLY, SOMEBODY MAKES SENSE: Levi Johnston, 19-year-old ex-fiancee of Bristol Palin, told Good Morning America that he’s not yet mature enough to get married. “It’s just us not—-me not—-being mature enough,” he said. “We were in a fight. And trying to see if we can make things work. But this is what it kind of ended up turning into. But we’ll see what happens.”
Johnston said he and Bristol broke up “about two months” after the birth of their son, Tripp. The two are open to reconciliation—-when they’re more mature.
COMMENCE THE SHAMING PROCESS! “Excuse me?” writes Kevin D. of Dean’s World. “You’re mature enough to have sex with her, father a child by her, but you’re not mature enough to marry her? . . . And this is why abstinence only education is the only sex education that makes sense.”
Hmm, okay, not the conclusion to which I would immediately jump. Let’s find out where Bristol and Levi really fall on the maturity scale, shall we?
[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to have sex
[ ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide how to handle the results of that sex
[ x ] MATURE ENOUGH to be allowed to decide whether or not to get married (finally).
Looks like they’re improving!
BRISTOL JUUUUUST GREAT: “Bristol is doing great, just great!,” Palin told reporters over the weekend.
BRISTOL PALIN SPRING SPORTS CORNER: Bristol missed out on the Girl Scout cookie sales because she was out performing other adolescent activities repackaged as “state business.” “Oh, Bristol is over at the state capitol building golfing in a miniature golf tournament,” Palin told People. “It’s a fundraiser and she’s up there taking my place while I’m here.” Also—-oh, my God—-some poor People reporter has probably been stationed in Alaska, following the Palins, since the Republican National Convention. Our hearts go out to your loved ones.
BRISTOL “UNCOOL”: HuffPo‘s Bonnie Fuller thinks that “the Palin women take public trashing to a whole new and totally uncool level.” Fuller gets most of her insight on this topic from an interview Johnston’s sister, Mercede, gave to Star magazine, so she’s working from pretty solid academic ground here. The story alleged that Bristol refused to allow Johnston to see their baby and that she called his family “white trash.”
Writes Fuller: “Now, the reason I don’t doubt Mercede’s version of the story—-Bristol trashing her ex and his family—-is because of the very public trashing and more, that her mom has been tied to, which also involves an ex-in-law: Sarah’s brother-in-law.”
Let’s put aside for a moment the fact that all the Star interview proves is that Johnston’s sister publicly outed her brother’s personal problems while smearing his ex-fiancee’s character. Both Bristol and Johnston have since said the report was riddled with errors.
Still, Fuller uses the evidence to prove that Bristol is a Troopergate-level bitch, just like her mother: “You better not mess with those Palin women when romance goes awry,” writes Fuller. “Slicing and dicing exes appears to be in the family genes.”
Photo by aburt