Hustler continues to cash in on America’s extended Palin boner

PALIN PORN LIVES ON: The Fairfield Weekly reviews a local appearance by “Lisa Ann, famous in the adult-film world for portraying the Alaska governor in the spoof film Who’s Nailin Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF.” And she ain’t nothing like the real thing:

The real-life Sarah Palin is a hot mother of five who shoots hoops as easily as a rifle and sports flag pins as easily as a beauty-pageant sash. . . . The porno Paylin, however, is just a blow-up doll. After 18 minutes of watching her drill-baby-drill routine, you’ve completely forgotten who she’s supposed to be channeling or why it was sexy.

COVER GIRL PALIN: Sarah Palin will appear on the cover of Portfolio next month. HuffPo has a copy of the cover shot: Palin, defiant in the snow, wearing fluffy black boots on her feet and an unidentified animal wrapped around her neck (a green coat has the midsection covered).

. . . SO SOME AT “PORTFOLIO” ARE PISSED: Some of the magazine’s staff are upset with Portfolio editor-in-chief Joanne Lipman, who put Palin on the cover even though she “didn’t offer any exclusive quotes, nor did she participate in a photo shoot.”

BUY THIS ON EBAY: That’s Palin in Rush Limbaugh‘s jaws; Michael Steele takes up the rear.

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORTS CORNER: Sports Illustrated honors snomachine racer Todd Palin with three-page online spread: CHECK OUT THIS KILLER SNOWMACHINE REPORTING:

Behold Todd Palin‘s snow machine, dangling from a truck’s winch in the icy gray murk of an Alaskan winter morning. The machine is gleaming, new, scarcely ridden. It is ­orange and black and pointy-nosed, with thin, tensile orange steel suspension arms jutting from its sides like the wings on a menacing insect. This is, no doubt, a machine that could inflict a nasty sting, but right now its engine is stilled, and a certain awed quietude prevails on Big Lake, outside Anchor­age, at the start of the 2009 Tesoro Iron Dog, a 2,000-mile snow-machine odys­sey that crashes through the Alaskan backcountry, northwest to Nome and then east to Fairbanks.

You had me at “behold,” then you lost me a little bit at “its engine is stilled,” but then you picked me up again at “certain awed quietude,” and then you lost me again after this paragraph that I copy-pasted into my blog and read no further.

SHE WAS LIKE, “NO”: Yesterday, congressional Republicans announced some exciting news: Hot mom Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin would be headlining their fancy fundraising dinner in June. Turns out they told everybody except for Palin, CNN reports:

“I communicated with the governor directly and she did not know anything about it,” [Palin spokesman Bill] McAllister told the Anchorage Daily News in a story published Tuesday. “I pointed out the (National Republican Senatorial Committee) press release and she was like, ‘No.'”

The possibility of an appearance is still “under review” by Palin.