Do you know D.C.?

Get our free newsletter to stay in the know about local D.C.

The morning commute. Cool breeze drifts through Washington. A bike rides West on R Street NW, passes Rhode Island Ave., and stops at 7th Street. A Gold Cadillac approaches from behind.

GOLD CADILLAC: You need to stay in the fucking bike line.

BIKE (in the bike lane): I’m in the fucking bike lane.

GOLD CADILLAC: You need to stay in the mother fucking bike lane. You need to stay away from my fucking car back there (indicating intersection), motherfucker.

BIKE: There is no bike lane there, you fucking asshole, it’s an INTERSECTION.


GOLD CADILLAC: You better stay away from my car before I run over your ass.

BIKE: What the fuck is wrong with you you motherfucker, are you really going to murder a human because you don’t understand how lanes work, you fucking fuck?

The light turns green.

GOLD CADILLAC: Stay away from my fucking car, you fucking bitch!

BIKE: Fuck you, motherfucker!

The GOLD CADILLAC drifts slightly into the bike lane, dumps a bottle of water on BIKE, laughs maniacally, hangs a right, and speeds away.

BIKE: Fuck.

BIKE hangs head in shame, knowing CAR  has won this time.

Photo by thebig429