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Wanda Sykes, personal hero of mine, headlined the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday. We can get Wanda in the White House, but when will we get Pootie Tang into a Washington, D.C. Blockbuster store? I’m still waiting.

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“There was never a nipple portrait of Lincoln, I’m sorry.”

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“I tell my kids: If two cars pull up, and one of them has a stranger, and the other one has Dick Cheney, you get in the one with the stranger.”