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The Sexist is out for the weekend, so we’re wrapping things up a little early this week. Today, kick off your Memorial Day holiday early by tying on a CockBib, throwing on some denim jeans, and blasting that new Jamie Foxx joint on the radio. Also, the Sexist reached its 1,000th blog post this week, which surely means something about where my life is headed.

1. Advice on How Not to Advise Women Not to Get Raped, in which a rape apologist by the name of “Rational Reader” rises again!

2. The Five Most Inappropriate CockBib Phrases, in which “Pussy Killer” isn’t even the most inappropriate of all!

3. George F. Will Hates Jeans, in which the rich shall not deign to dress in the uniform of the proles.

4.Top Five Date Rape Anthems, or, a soundtrack to your acquaintance-rape-justification.

5. Why Sex Positivity is Bad for Feminism, in which I probably would have headlined this differently if I knew anyone was going to actually read it.