We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.
Aaron P. Taylor’s club is a very boring place to be.
Last November, I outlined some advice for well-meaning sexists on How Not to Advise Women Not to Get Raped. The post was in response to a guy named Aaron P. Taylor, who, in response to getting shut down by a female in da club, penned a manifesto entitled “Advice 4 Women: How to NOT Get a ‘Deserved Raping.’” The essay warned women against behaviors that indicate that she really “wants it”—-even when her actual words (in the case of Taylor’s target, “Naaaaaaah!”) indicate that she actually does not want to have sex!
These behaviors include:
* dancing (repeatedly)
* putting your face close to a man’s face
* wearing a shirt that “shows just about everything but her nipples, then have a 30-minute conversation with a guy about how voluptuous and sensitive her breasts are, then spend half the night stroking her hand against the outer-lining of said breasts.” (It happens).
* anything else that gives a man a boner
Obviously, this argument—-that women shouldn’t do certain things unless they’re down to fuck—-is based entirely on a man’s expectations, and his own preferred end to every female interaction (sex). In reality, women aren’t soley interacting with men in order to eventually cause him to orgasm. And just because a behavior is “sexy” doesn’t make it “suggestive.” Most of the time, a dance is just a dance. A shirt is just a shirt. Putting your face close to a man’s face is just putting your face close to a man’s face. And a man getting a boner from any of that is his personal problem. Even if a woman is grinding her ass on your pelvis, all she’s suggesting is that—-shocker!—-she wants to grind her ass on your pelvis. Really, the only way a woman can actually suggest she wants to have sex with you is by saying, “I want to have sex with you!” It’s that easy.
One response to Taylor’s essay that hasn’t been raised, however, is how fucking shitty life would be for everybody if “dancing” really meant “fucking.” Taylor’s worldview offers one big problem for guys like Taylor: If women flirted, danced, wore revealing clothing, or did anything else that men happened to find arousing only in direct preparation for sex, da club would be a very lonely place. Under this model:
* A woman would never look at a man, lest he expect her to speak to him.
* A woman would never speak to a man, lest he expect her to flirt with him.
* A woman would never flirt with a man, lest he expect her to dance with him.
* A woman would never dance with a man, lest he expect her to kiss him.
* A woman would never kiss a man, lest he expect her to fuck him.
* A woman would never fuck a man, lest he expect the right to fuck her any time he wants, in any way he wants, in any orifice, whether she likes it or not.
In other words, women would never, ever, ever go to da club, lest a man chose to administer her a “deserved raping” for showing up. Don’t you see, Aaron P. Taylor? It’s a prison of your own design! Taylor is not just advising women how “not to get a deserved raping.” He’s also advising women how to make Aaron P. Taylor’s life a living hell. Which is, actually, the only reason women might want to refrain from doing whatever the fuck they want to do on the dance floor.
Photo by Yoshimai