We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.
Last weekend, the Playboy Golf Scramble—-an intriguing mash-up of hot chicks, balls, and douchebags—-hit Virginia, and Metromix’s John Griffith was there to bravely cover the event.
“Ninety local [douchebags] registered to compete on Friday for an invitation to the national semi-final round in Las Vegas,” Griffith explained. “After that, the top [douches] will advance to the championships in L.A. and (more importantly) the 2009 Playboy VIP Player’s Pajama and Lingerie Mansion Party [wearing douchey satin robes].” [Douchebag emphasis mine].
When not making an LPGA lesbian joke, Griffith’s piece suggested that we take Playboy Golf “for what it is”—-a fun relaxing time for dudes to hang out!
Sure, one could argue that such events promote a regression to antiquated gender roles, but it’s probably best to just take Plaboy Golf for what it is. After all, sometimes a guy just needs to get away from it all for an afternoon and appreciate the stunning beauty of God’s natural creations (OK – maybe not always natural).
Personally, I’m going to take the Playboy Golf Scramble as an opportunity to easily identify 90 local douchebags. Thankfully, Metromix’s Playboy photo galleries double as a helpful photo catalogue of the D.C. area’s most epic local douches!
Try to identify them all in photos from the Playboy douchebag golf scramble, the Playboy Golf pre-douche at Midtown Lounge, and the Playboy Golf after-douche at Skye Lounge. Give yourself a point for every type of douche you can find. Bonus if it’s a douchebag you actually know!
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Goateed douchebag smiling stupidly on golf cart with girl in low-cut shirt.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag receiving Red Bull vodka shot from girl in low-cut shirts.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag with sunglasses on head flanked by girls in low-cut shirts with sunglasses on head.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag at party with bow tie untied.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Sea of douchebags in da club.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag in baseball cap sitting in VIP douche booth next to douche with microphone.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag taking digital photo of girls in low-cut shirts blowing kisses.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag in striped shirt clutching on to comparatively enormous woman.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Yep, the bowtie’s still untied.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Two grinning douchebags gravitationally pulled toward anonymous woman’s cleavage.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Intrepid douchebag chronicler John Griffith delving into the douchebag mind by taking photo with girls in low-cut shirts.
SPOT THAT DOUCHE: Douchebag in suspenders.
Photo by mager
This isn't a paywall.
We don't have one. Readers like you keep our work free for everyone to read. If you think that it's important to have high quality local reporting we hope you'll support our work with a monthly contribution.