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Those sexy librarians who are tweeting their way through the American Library Association conference aren’t content with burying their innermost secrets into the social networking ether. Now, some conference attendees are preserving their stereotype-busting contributions to the nerd-sexuality canon in the slightly more permanent form of online document-sharing. Can sexy secret powerpoint presentations be far behind?

If you’ll recall, this year’s ALA attendees began airing their “secrets”—-nerd-crushes, wi-fi frustrations, and sexual exploits—-on Twitter via @alasecrets. It wasn’t long before the book-nerd confessional was shut down——likely by one of their own. The Twitter account has since been reborn in the form of @ALASecrets2009, a den of impropriety even more sexually explicit than the first. Before the fall, however, the sex-starved librarians and stern conference brown-nosers Tweeted their secrets as one.

One ALA secrets completist has thwarted those who would silence the librarian secrets, preserving all the previous account’s Tweets in an online document for all to peruse. It’s titled “TRANSCRIPTS FROM @ALASECRETS 2009 BEFORE BEING SHUT DOWN BY A TIGHTASS KILLJOY,” and it’s probably much more interesting than whatever cataloguing powerpoint they’re all pretending to appreciate right now. So let’s check out the sexiest, sternest, and downright creepiest tweets to come out of the first half of the American Library Association conference!


5. “not discrete enuf. We had to go to Starbucks restroom for quickie. Missed start of next session 🙁 ALA get it sorted.”

4. “Using Web 2.0 tools to build community, even if it is a community of hung-over sex-crazed librarians, McCormick W-177”

3. “Last night kinda hazy. Very tired, not focused this morning. Kinda sore down *there*. Need more coffee. Poss. meds later.”

2. “you don’t like the way you’re being presented then go set up an account for @sanctimoniousgetoveryourself”

1. “Who you calling ‘middle aged’? I’m sixty-six.”



5. “Librarians need to learn how to silence cell phone ringers. And don’t answer your calls during a session!”

4. “Are they still playing Neil Diamond on the shuttle?”

3. “conference hookups are never worth it. don’t be stupid.”

2. “other people’s one-night stand stories are just as exciting as other people’s drug stories, i.e., NOT VERY”

1. “This twitter account is disgusting. It’s just a sewer of depravity. Is this the image librarians wish to proect to the world?”



“Not only big but have never cum that hard b4. Bet there won’t be a box for that on the #ala2009
evaluation form 😉 Thanx; u know who u r.”



“Hope she was on the pill last night. She was hot. I never got her name. I’ll never drink again. Shitting myself with worry.”

Photo by gruntzooki