Tucker Carlson, man, is upset that some textbooks are replacing male-centric terms like “Founding Fathers” and “caveman” with sissy gender-neutral designations, like “Founders” and “cavepeople.” Who else is prepared to fight for the linguistic supremacy of our nation’s long-dead men and pre-men? Stephen Colbert , who has a helpful suggestion: replace lady-words with newly coined man-words! “And how about mother-fucker? Sorry, ladies. From now on, Tucker Carlson is a father-fucker.”

[Via Jezebel]