Next week, I take my annual exotic vacation from a life of bloggin’ about drag queens and pulling out (okay: I’m going to Idaho). While I’m off the sex and gender beat, resident City Paper bike porn chronicler Mike Riggs will be posting here on the Sexist to pick up my dildo slack. He promises to write about dude stuff!

But before I go—-oh, the memories! Let’s relive last week’s most popular blog posts:

1. Doggie Style: A Sex Toy for Dogs, in which CP editor Erika Niedowski explores the newest “silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir,” for dogs.

2. “He Could Have Sex With Anybody He Wanted,” in which Ben Roethlisberger‘s most ardent fans aren’t doing him any favors.
3. Could Condom Shame Be Good for Pharmacies?, in which Trojan sales come with a little gummy bear income on the side.
4. Dick Sucking Economics 101: 6th & K Streets NW, in which CP seniro writer Jason Cherkis learns how to hide your after-hours sex work from an unsuspecting husband.
5. Mystics KissCam Would Be Too Gay, in which the Washington Mystics protect the KissCam’s homophobic punchlines.

6. The Dildos of the Future, in which rocking chairs grow penises.
7. Sex Codes: The Top 31 Acronyms for Your Sexist, Racist Fetishes, in which “Concentration Camp Look” is used commonly enough to earn a fucking acronym.

8. Date Rape Anthems: Karaoke No-Nos Edition, in which Sublime is off-limits.

9. Gay Man Arrested for Mocking Police Bigotry, in which

10. When Gender Transition Requires a Long, Strange Trip, in which all plastic surgeons are not created equal.