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I’m sure that this eHow article on how to avoid date rape means well, but some of the tips—-like “If you get in his car, you will not be able to get out!!!!”—-are, perhaps, extreme. And the title could use a bit of work:

Shit, now I’m expected to increase my own intelligence while I’m avoiding getting raped? What exactly does being a “smart” rape avoider entail anyway? Flashcards?

I’m thinking I better start off with “How to be dumb and avoid date rape” before I move on to this multitasking shit. After all, preventing yourself from becoming a full-fledged dumb rape victim requires some pretty advanced instruction: