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When I first learned of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ new “Save the Sea Kittens” ad campaign, I was confused—-and not because re-branding one species of animal (fish) as another (kittens) doesn’t make any fucking sense. No, I was confused because PETA’s campaign just doesn’t seem overtly sexist enough! There are no Playboy models, lettuce bikinis, or shrink-wrapped naked ladies to objectify in this campaign—-just some cute fish you can dress up in costumes in an attempt to humanize them.

I know. I was suspicious, too.

Thankfully, PETA supporters accustomed to sneaking a bit of lasciviousness into their animal rights advocacy can dress their cute fish in a variety of super sexy fish costumes. Ta-da:


This is my sexy sea-kitten, complete with string bikini, pageant tiara, fetish-y cat whiskers, and porno lips.

Your BDSM sea kitten can sport a pink studded collar, or opt for a more traditionally sexy ruffled tube top. The truly kinky sea-kitten, though, ties on a bonnet.


On the accessories side, choose from bloated sex-doll lips or a tray of kitty litter (if your sexy fish is into the whole scat thing).


Umm . . . for the sea-kitten into furries?

Of course, as we’ve seen from PETA’s other sexy ad campaigns, dressing up your spokesmodels in sexy outfits actually tends to dehumanize them instead of the other way around. Oh, well. At least it keeps dudes interested.