I’m a big fan of sexual euphemisms popularized in hip-hop songs, so I was disappointed to hear that Ghostface‘s new hyper-sexual track, “Stapleton Sex,” is so explicit it leaves little room for hilarious sexual wordplay.
The video trailer (warning: electrical tape boobs) features the first verse of the song:
You can put my dick in your mouth
And play with my nuts
But before I bust, babe
I think I’ll come on your butt
I got my gun on the floor and I’m ready to fuck
Like it’s nothing, it’s nothing
Yep, not too much to parse there. And the rest of the song is pretty much just like that. Take the outro, for instance: “When I get back home, have that little nurse outfit on, with the hat tilted to the side so I can bend you over that little desk we got in the room, with the thigh-highs. Word up, and I’ma stop at the Dell store and get one of them little Screamin’ Os so you can sit your little click on it and just let it buzz off all day, you know what I’m saying, ma?”
At least, I think he says “Dell store.”
The closest I can find to a sexual euphemism in this thing is Ghostface observing his “helmet head smackin’ on [his sex partner’s] tushy”—-hardly a stretch. Earlier, when he claims to “absorb pussy juice like a sponge,” Ghostface also strays just slightly from the literal. But unless the “gun on the floor” in the first verse means something I’m not catching, I think this song is 100 percent euphemism-free. Can you catch any?