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Last month, Tucker Max‘s cross-country movie premiere tour hit Raleigh, where students from the North Carolina State Women’s Center were on hand to protest the screening. Max’s people, predictably, had some anti-feminist fun with it, and posted the video online. In the video, Max sends out his minion to interview the protesters while masquerading as a gay Duke student writing a thesis on “the linguistics of rape culture.” Of course, anyone actually interested in the linguistics of rape culture need only watch “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” to figure out what it sounds like. Basically, there are a lot of references to “cum dumpsters.”

In the Raleigh Q & A, Max himself expounded upon the rape culture issue. “Fucking rape sucks, dude,” Max said. “It’s, like, not a joke, and I feel like [the protesters’] hearts are probably in the right place, to be honest. But I fell like they’re fucking it up, man, because what they’re doing is really kind of devaluing the seriousness of an actual crime. . . . Dude, I mean, the discussion about where consent lies and doesn’t lie is an important one, and should be had, but this is not the fucking forum. And, uh, and that’s never been an issue for me, so, I don’t know man, I feel like if that’s an issue to you, that’s great, and you should pursue it, but pursue it with the people who it needs to be pursued with. And not with me.”

Of course, “where consent lies and doesn’t lie” is a consistent issue in Max’s work. Max’s stories succeed on orchestrating sexual conquests that are increasingly outrageous, drunk, dubiously legal, painful, objectifying, and embarrassing to his sex partners. In order to continue to one-up himself, Max intentionally pushes the line of consent—-getting drunker, getting her drunker, leaving his sex partners to fend for themselves—-naked—-on the street, hiding his friend with an undisclosed video camera in his closet while they’re doing it. It’s not hard to think of the ultimate scenario these increasingly absurd sexcapades are inching toward—-it’s, like, rape, dude. And now—-thanks to Max’s movie tour—-undergrads everywhere can compete to have the consensual sex that’s most like rape without actually being a prosecutable offense. Sure, some dudes might fail and actually rape chicks. Oh well!

In the middle of Max’s protest video, an actress from the film criticizes the protesters for failing to “read and watch any of the material!” She’s right: Max’s words are the best ammunition his protesters have, and it helps to get specific. So let’s take a look at the rape-culturiest quotations from “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” Shannon Johnson, the director of the NC State Women’s center which staged the Raleigh protest, has collected some highlights of the film for future protesters to use in their arguments:

On women:
– “She may be a vacuous slut with no taste, but at least she’s not a stripper.”
– “I’d rather mainline Drano than listen to another minute of your whore prattle.”
– “Your gender is hardwired for whoredom.”
– “I don’t like her because she’s a negative fucking bitch, not because she has tits.”

– “Fat girls aren’t real people.”

– “Cum dumpsters.”

On fun:

– “Ready to get shit-faced and grab some titty!?”

– “We can’t all go after the girl with low self-esteem.”

On what women are good for, beyond fucking:

– “I will gut you and grind you into pig fodder.”

– “Get away from me or I’m going to carve a fuck hole in your torso.”

– “I want to shoot every one of these bitches.”
– “The only way I can cut you deep is with a battle axe and a running start.”
– “Rape’s not funny, but murder can be.”