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Cataloguing the sexual euphemisms of rap music is one of my favorite pastimes. So when a commenter requested that I parse Gucci Mane‘s lyrics for hidden sexual undertones, I was happy to attempt to smoke out some hidden naughty bits in the rapper’s contribution to Young Problemz‘ “Boi” (Mane weighs in at the 2:55 mark).

Perhaps I am off my game. Because  for the life of me, I can’t make out any clear sexual imagery in Mane’s lyrical feast of gyros, egg rolls, tacos, and sting rays:

Extra lamb like a gyro / Wrap ’em like a egg roll
Beat up out the taco / Feed ’em to the octos
Fully fully auto / Shawty bout that good plate
Fuck around next they be sleepin with a sting ray

While the taco reference inspires an obvious anatomical comparison, that octopus shit is beyond me. So I turned to CP”s resident art staff for help:

Arts editor Sarah Godfrey was similarly tripped up by the taco:

After listening a few times, I’m thinking Gucci has mixed his metaphors a bit here. Although the taco thing and the sleeping with a sting ray thing seem like sex euphemisms, I’m pretty sure the extra lamb thing is about money, and the wrap ’em like an egg roll and feed ’em to the octos lines are about hurting people. But maybe I just have a hard time understanding his country ass.

Arts editor Ted Scheinman suspects that “extra lamb” refers to the size of Mane’s dick:

Line 1: possible Christ ref. Also, isn’t this, like, the weirdest endowment boast ever? Shoulda made it a half-smoke!

Line 3: I prefer to read this line as “meat up out the taco.” Slightly racier. Though, let’s be frank, the mixed-food metaphors are starting to make me nauseous

Line 4: Do octopi go for ethnic food?

Line 7: OK, Mr. Mane has now officially jumped the shark into full-on erotic-aquatic imagery. Or I guess this is a threat, like sleeping with the fishes. Either way, Shawty better not fuck around.

Listings czar Mike Riggs thinks it’s ALL about the taco. And don’t call it a taco!

1.) Lamb meat is an imaginative substitute for “roast beef,” which was likely the most popular slice-meat parallel to vagina pre-Gucci. It would be worldly, perhaps even sophisticated, if comparisons to deli stuffs weren’t pejorative.

2.) I hate taco references, thanks to the scene in “Me, Myself, and Irene” in which Jim Carrey commandeers the PA at a grocery store to harangue a woman who’s buying Vagisil for her “cheesy taco.”

3.) Then again, the “good plate” sounds, well, good! Like it’s all tasty down there! And let’s face it, the vagina is a tasty place, so it might as well be a tasty plate.

4.) I don’t know about that whole stingray/egg roll/octo thing, except that octopus reminds me of Octopussy, the female lead from the same-titled 1983 James Bond movie, starring seafood connoisseur Roger Moore.

In closing, rappers can and should do better by the vagina. It’s what they seem to live for, and yet they talk about it in terms befitting a so-so food cart. Jesus.