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Dan Gainor of FOX News has had it up to here with the mainstream media! No, not FOX News: The other mainstream media. “Excuses, excuses from the mainstream media for everything from child-rape to the Letterman using the office as a dating service to explaining why the president failed to win the Olympics!” Gainor opines in today’s column.

I’m totally with you on the child rapist excuses, Gainor. I’m a little bit less with you on the Late Night womanizer excuses. Remember: just because a man’s legal relationships with consenting adults happen to be aired the same week that a notorious child rapist was arrested does not mean that the two incidents are related. And I’m really not with you on the mainstream media’s Olympics “excuses,” which amount to Katie Couric announcing, “Despite a high-powered, star-studded U.S. appeal from Oprah to the Obamas, the Olympics are awarded to Rio.”

Which is worse: Hollywood filmmakers excusing child rape, or Katie Couric alliterating on “Oprah,” “Obama,” and “Olympics”? To Gainor, it’s pretty much a draw!

“Turn on any network last week and you saw famous people making excuses. It didn’t matter if it was Hollywood morons defending a rapist, David Letterman pretending he was a victim for treating his staff like a harem, or Barack Obama denying responsibility for the failed Olympic bid,” writes Gainor. “It looked like some nightmarish recast of an awful ‘Family Circus’ cartoon with all of the major characters shouting ‘not me’ with their hands fully in the cookie jar.”

Nope, my bad! According to Gainor, it “doesn’t matter” whether these people are excusing heinous sex crimes against minors, or simply refraining from speculating as to the Olympic committee’s reasoning for granting the games to Rio.

Gainor’s logic linking defenders of Polanski, Letterman, and Obama boils down to this: the media is failing to treat Roman Polanski like he committed a crime. The media is also failing to treat David Letterman and Barack Obama like they committed crimes. Because they didn’t. I’m just going to assume that my own failure to ignore this crucial distinction designates me as a member of the liberal media. Hey, got anybody who didn’t do anything wrong that requires an excuse from the mainstream media? Hit me up!

Bonus FOX News fail: “awful ‘Family Circus’ cartoon” is redundant. Every Family Circus cartoon is awful.