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On Tuesday, I counted down the ten worst “sexy” Halloween costumes on shelves this holiday season. As it turns out, there are way more than ten offensive Halloween get-ups out there to satisfy all your pathetic costuming needs. So I’ll be searing one more terrible sexy outfit into your brains every day until October 31. Up next:
The Flasher costume, on-sale at ZoogerCostumes.com for the low price of $32.99, features a “male-themed flesh-colored jumpsuit with attached black overcoat.” “Male-themed” is an interesting euphemism for “dick the size of my arm,” so kudos for that, Zooger Costumes!
Which of the following characteristics can we assume about the guy who actually wears this costume to your Halloween party:
a) He wasn’t invited
b) He actually wears those loafers with those socks
c) Even after several dozen surprise revelations of his hilariously gigantic stuffed phallus, he will still think it’s hilarious
d) He’ll start rubbing the fake penis against all the girls at the party in about 5 seconds
e) He’s always gotten off on the idea of flashing strangers, but has always been self-conscious about size
e) He has a real erection under his fake erection