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Andrew Sullivan crashed our servers this morning when he linked to our roundup of the baddest sexy Halloween costumes. The worst of the slutty holiday get-ups are generally reserved for the ladies. But surely, Sullivan deserves an awful sexy Halloween costume of his own, no? Thanks to 3Wishes.com, men don’t have to settle for lame penis joke costumes on Oct. 31: they, too, can join in the fun of inappropriate public erotica with the help of some greasy abs, a Chippendale bow-tie, and a whole lot of manpris.

First up: THE “SEXY FOOTBALL PLAYER”:

Ready, set, manpris!

THE “SEXY PIRATE” COSTUME:

Arg! Manpris!

THE “SEXY COP” COSTUME:

I love how they saved all the manpris costumes to the same male model. Work it!

THE “ANOTHER SEXY COP” OUTFIT:

I can tell by the two-day stubble and suggestive shoulder straps that this cop is meant to be sexy, but he’s not wearing manpris, so I’m not really buying it.

THE OBLIGATORY “SEXY RACIALLY INSENSITIVE COSTUME” [OK: “SEXY RACIST”]:

GAH. NO. (Buy one in every gender!)

THE “SEXY PENIS JOKE” COSTUME:

Equal parts gleaming muscles and dick joke, it’s the ultimate male Halloween costume!