Despite my continuing protest against the sexualization of all things Halloween, even I have to admit that Slutty Halloween appears to be here to stay. Let’s say that all women accept their duty to dress Sexy this Slutty Halloween. When every woman is Sexy, will Sexy be enough? Or must the Sexiest among them strive to be Sexier—-dare I say, Super Sexier? If you’re simply planning on dressing “Sexy” come October 31st, beware: I have seen the future of Sexy Halloween, and it is”Super Sexy”:

Watch how a regular costume is slowly rendered unrecognizable as it devolves from normal to sexy to super sexy:

SNOW WHITES, via Costume Kingdom:

Snow White

Sexy” Snow White

“Super Sexy” Snow White


COPS, via


“Sexy” Cop

“Super Sexy” Cop

, via


“Sexy” Ragdoll

“Super Sexy” Ragdoll

While I recognize the creativity that must have gone into designing a costume to show the maximum amount of skin while still incorporating puffy princess sleeves, I’m not sure that the same appreciation for design work is going to extend to the party atmosphere, where the reaction to these absurdly sexy get-ups will more likely be: “WTF does that lady have dozens of red ribbons tied all over her half-naked body?” I’m also concerned for our children, and our children’s children. When the time comes, how will they possibly turn these “Super Sexy” Halloween costumes into “Super Duper Sexy” versions? My predictions: Snow White loses everything except for a pair of red bow pasties. What the Cop loses in skin coverage she makes up for with a vibrating nightstick. And our little Ragdoll’s braids are lengthened just enough to help her perform a precarious Lady Godiva function.