Sign up for our free newsletter
Free D.C. news, delivered to your inbox daily.
It seems like only yesterday that the CockBib arrived on the adult novelty scene to protect us against the horror of sloppy blow jobs. The CockBib, which is exactly what it sounds like, was always there for us—-ready to catch our spittle before it fell upon a man’s balls. And I was really hoping that the CockBib was going to be around for the Holiday gift-giving season, offering up winter-themed ball-protectors with phrases like “Ho, Ho, Ho, Suck My Dick,” or “I’m Dreaming of A Dry Ball Christmas,” or “Dry-Balls, Dry-Balls, Dry-Balls, I Made You Out of CockBib.” The possibilities are endless, people.
So imagine my surprise when I click over to the CockBib online store, only to find the Web site abandoned! What the fuck happened to the CockBibs?!
I have an e-mail out to CockBib guy to see whether the CockBib is dead for good, or whether some Christmas miracle will bring our favorite novelty penis accessory back just in time for the holidays. In the meantime, you can pay your respects by joining the CockBib Facebook group. And while we’re waiting for the inevitable CockBib resurrection, let’s share the best CockBibs of Christmas past. CockBibs may be dead, but making fun of CockBibs lasts forever. So without further ado:
“Who Am I Kidding: You’re Hired,” perfect for your office Secret Santa pool:
North Pole Ahead: Actually more Christmas-themed than it is cock-themed, in my opinion!
Heads, You Suck It, Tails, You Fuck It: There’s nothing like a good old fashioned game night to bring couples closer over the holiday season.
The Happy Birthday! CockBib. For Jesus.