1. Parent Files Complaint Against Gay Teacher Over Child’s Sense of Innocence, in which one gay guinea pig inspires the most absurd DCPS parent complaint ever.

2. Identify Yourself as a Douchebag for Only $21.99, in which the “funbags” polo is embroidered with a pair of tits that (bonus!) look like balls from far away.

3. James Chartrand’s Constructed Masculinity Goes Far Beyond the Pen Name, in which pretending to be a man and pretending to be a sexist man are two very different things.

4. Cosmo‘s 5 Most Absurd Water Sex Positions, in which “the aroma of wet grass boosts your sense of smell, making this a supersensory experience.”

5. “The Campus Rape Myth”: Rape Isn’t Real, Therefore College Students Shouldn’t Have Sex, in which the argument that abstinence will solved the make-believe campus rape crises makes my brain go KABLOOEY.

Photo via MJames, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0