5. ANDREW HAS HAD SEX 12 TIMES

The girls: “How many girls have you had sex with?”

Andrew: “Probably like 12.”

The girls: “Has it ever been more than once?”

Andrew: “No.”

The girls: “So you’ve had sex 12 times, ever?”

Andrew: “I don’t think any girl has ever come away saying, ‘I want to do that again.'”

4. ANDREW’S RAPE CARTOONS: IRRESISTIBLE TO WOMEN?

Josh on Andrew‘s (often sexual assault themed) cartooning: “Andrew has this ‘art trap,’ supposedly . . . I’m an artist too, so I know. There’s just something about it that attracts a woman.”

3. MIKE TELLS ASHLEY TO MASTURBATE ALREADY

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A house game of “Never Have I Ever” gets heated. Andrew‘s suggestion: “Never have I ever played with my vagina.”

Ashley: “I haven’t since I’ve been here. Obviously, I’d be in a better mood if I did.”

Mike: “Please do it, then.”

Ashley: “Fuck you, Mike.”

2. ANDREW SUSTAINS AN ERECTION FOR AN ENTIRE EVENING

Andrew‘s date, Allie, agrees to the night-vision treatment. But not sex. A typical bedroom conversation between the pair:

Allie: “Babe, nothing, OK?”

Andrew: “Nothing?”

Allie: “I’m just a good girl. I don’t do that . . . Let’s go to sleep.”

Andrew: “No.”

Allie: “Don’t hate me.”

After two nights of attempting to push through the “no,” Andrew reveals his frustrations to Emily:

Andrew: “She wouldn’t have sex with me, though . . . I am so tired. I didn’t get to sleep once. I just laid there, thinking about my boner. I was pissed.”

Emily: “Did you hide it?”

Andrew: “No. I just kept poking her with it.”

1. ANDREW IS CRUSHED

Allie breaks up with Andrew—-via e-mail. The contents of the e-mail are unclear, but I’m betting it had something to do with Andrew non-consensually poking this girl with his boner all night.

Callie: “I don’t think Andrew’s bummed that Alison’s gone. I think he’s bummed that there went one more girl that he could have—-possibly—-had sex with.”