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How to dress to pick up the women you despise.
“Principles 101: Feminism, Manhood, and You” [PDF], a guide to Men’s Rights Activism from Manhood101.com, contains tips on everything from restoring your manhood to fighting feminism to . . . brushing your teeth twice daily. (Thanks to a reader for the tip).
Seven golden style tips for the Men’s Rights Activist community, after the jump.
1. SPEECH. “Many people make the mistake of not speaking because they have no new information to convey,” the guide laments. ” They fail to realize that new information is not as stimulating as how you experience things.” Let’s see how this applies to the realm of picking up women:
Bad pick-up line:
“Hello, how are you?”
Good pick-up line:
“Wow . . . I like how your hair is straight in some places, and then there are these little strands that curl off of it. They remind me of some fashion magazine cover where the hair is perfectly arranged like a little piece of art, but since you’re here in person, I feel like I’m talking to the cover in real life. I want to touch your hair and feel how soft it is. I picture it smelling like coconuts or something sweet. Your hair is making me think dirty thoughts. I want to tug on it and kiss your neck. I have a crush on your hair. It gives me a nice ‘ahhhhhh’ feeling deep inside like when you eat a warm chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven.”
2. BODY TYPE. It’s OK if you’re short, but DO NOT BE FAT:
First, you must recognize the difference between a disorderly physical appearance and the symptoms of a disorderly life. Being short is not under your control. You were born that way. Being fat, however, is under your control.
Being fat is a result of disorderly eating habits. Although people today claim that discriminating against fat people is wrong, disorderly conditions should be discriminated against, especially when a person has control over their disorder. Smoking, obesity, bad hygeine, decaying teeth and other symptomps of a disorderly life are naturally offensive to others. You should do whatever is necessary to rectify such disorderly conditions.
3. FOOTWEAR: Avoid stylish elevator shoes.
[B]eing short is not unattractive in itself, as are many other perceived shortcomings society arbitrarily invalidates you for possessing. The problem begins when society attaches an undesirable assocation to your height. Because society invalidates you for being short, you believe yourself to be unattractive. This belief causes you to become anti-social and express unattractive social behaviors. . . . . The solution is not to change your physical characteristics, rather you must change the negative associations made with those characteristics.
. . . Stylish elevator shoes, plastic surgery and laser hair removal are not the answer. The solution is twofold; you must develop a functional perspective regarding attraction that emphasizes your ability to create order, and you must break the dysfunctional, negative associations held by women.
4. BODY LANGUAGE. Pretend as if you are human.
When appropriate, use your hands and arms to enhance what you’re saying. Drawing with your hands or using gestures to indicate something relevant reinforces what you’re attempting to express.
5. DRESS: Men who can properly exercise their authority do not require pants.
Being stylish is unnecessary (not to mention a pointless preoccupation with a dysfunctional social expectation). Having an orderly appearance should be your only focus where clothing is concerned. Properly exercising your authority can accomplish much more than a pair of designer jeans. Being unable to create orderly social interactions is what prevents most men from attracting women. Not lack of fashion sense or good looks.
6. HYGIENE: Although women are more stimulated by power than physical appearance, you still have to brush your teeth, dude.
Studies show that facial symmetry is attractive. If your eyeball was an inch lower, it would break your facial symmetry, causing
disorder to your appearance. This would be a major breach of your natural physical order.
Order in any form, whether in nature or in our physical bodies attracts us. This is why an orderly appearance is important. Granted some men were born with deviated septums or crooked teeth, but thankfully, women are more stimulated by the order generated from exercising your male authority.
However, this does not mean you should neglect your physical appearance entirely.
It’s important to practice good hygiene because it maintains an orderly physical appearance. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Shower. Shave if necessary. Comb your hair or cut it cleanly.
7. STARING ETIQUETTE:
Look directly at people instead of staring at them out of your peripheral vision.
Photo via Migraine Chick, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0