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I’m a condom access nerd, so I was excited to see a Shapley Prose commenter post this vintage Golden Girls clip of Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche getting shamed by their cashier for loudly buying condoms for their romantic getaway (rarely do two nerd obsessions combine so harmoniously).

Next time your condom dispenser is a jerk about your safe sex purchases, try using Dorothy’s Blanche’s retort, which is, at the very least, sure to leave the cashier speechless: “Now we are embarking on a little weekend cruise with some longtime gentlemen friends, and if we decide to be intimate, then we’ll be prepared . . . We’re going to walk out here today with our heads held high, secure in the knowledge that we have done is morally and socially responsible.”