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In this edition of Dr. Laura Schlessinger‘s YouTube extravaganza, the Doctor tackles a series of questions from Susan, a woman who has been forced to date men in order to ultimately become married to one of them. Susan is understandably confused on the specifics of such a modern endeavor.

Susan asks: “After years of dating, I still have a lot of questions. And since dating is essentially a prerequisite to marriage, I’d like your opinion on some of those questions. After one date, if a girl isn’t interested in a serious relationship with a guy, should she go out with him again anyway? I’ve ben told that it’s courteous to go out with a guy a second date unless the guy is a complete jerk. Until there’s a definite dating relationship, should the girl pay for her share of the meal? How soon is it to considerate to disclose health issues? Information about past marriages? And other unpleasant corners of your life? And finally, how soon is it okay to kiss and hug?”

Over the next four minutes, Schlessinger informs Susan how to know when to ditch him (“With me, if he didn’t open a door, take off my jacket and put it on the chair, pull out the chair and pay the tab, and open the door to the car, and pay for the gas to get me there, there wouldn’t be a second date”); how to know when to tell him about your STIs (“For example, you have herpes. That’s communicable!”), and how to know when to put dating on hold (“Gee, I was molested when I was five and I hate sex. This would be a good thing to clarify with your therapist before you begin dating”).

Finally, Dr. Laura lets Susan know when to kiss him: “Hugs are nice at anytime. Pecks are good anytime. Really slobbery kisses and sucking on each others’ face, that should wait awhile until you think each other is a keeper, I can’t believe I answered that question. So until next time—-I’m going to stop blushing—-I’m Dr. Laura. Take care.”

In the video, Dr. Laura became visibly uncomfortable discussing only one of the following topics:

a) “Gee, I was molested when I was five and I hate sex.”

b) “For example, you have herpes. That’s communicable!”

c) “Really slobbery kisses.”

Hmm.