Tomorrow, Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church will be protesting the first day of same-sex marriage in the District. Why? Well, because “God hates fags! God hates fag-enablers! Ergo, God hates District of Columbia, all of DOOMED america, and the World! You’ve turned the country over to the fags; now your soldiers/fire fighters/cops/kids/parents/etc. are coming home in body bags! Judges 19-21. Praise God! Amen.”
One District resident has dared to defy this logic. Bridget Todd is organizing a Phelps counter-protest from 11-12 p.m. tomorrow outside of D.C. Superior Court. Todd also intends to challenge the creative signage of the most flamboyant hate group around (“Bitch Burger”?). Plenty of inspiration for your anti-Phelps materials, after the jump.
UPDATE: Check out the results of the protest and the counter-protest.
PATIENCE, CHILDREN.
Todd, who will have extra markers and cardboard on-hand outside the courthouse, says that crafting a great counter-protest sign often requires you to actually observe the protest first. “I think it’ll be more effective to scope out the scene and then come up with a sign based on the situation,” she says. But there are a few old standbys you can whip up in advance:
DRESS UP AS A WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH FAVORITE.
“I’m trying to convince my long-haired, bearded boyfriend to come dressed as a kind of ‘hipster Jesus’ with a sign that says, ‘Actually, I love fags,'” says Todd.
GO SELF-REFERENTIAL.
No matter what anti-gay message Phelps & family end up shilling tomorrow morning, you know it’s gonna be on a sign.
GOD HATES [BLANK].
At a recent Phelps protest of Twitter HQ (because “God Hates Retweets,” one counter-protester theorized), a counter-protester dressed as an ivory-gloved unicorn with a sign that read “God Hates Ponies”:
GET PERSONAL.
Just make fun of the way they look! You know they’re going to look kind of weird. Remember, these people think you are murdering American soldiers through some sort of ho-mo-sexual voodoo, so rules of decorum are pretty much out the window here. “Of course, a good old fashioned catty remark sign can really never go wrong,” Todd says.
EMBRACE ABSURDITY.
You’re dealing with people who will likely be carrying around signs showing aborted fetuses served up inside Big Macs, so you’re going to have to think outside the box a little bit. “I can’t say enough good about funny ‘that makes no sense at all’ signs that just point out how absurd these people are,” Todd says.Protest whatever! A friend, Kyle Stoneman, is a ridiculous protest veteran who has previously staged a successful Phelps-style protest of forks “(Did Jesus DIE for your FORK? NO!”):
Try to be as weird as possible. “I’ve got one more sign idea that I’d like to do at some point,” says Stoneman. “The sign says ‘Coat Room,’ and the person holding this sign should be wearing half a dozen to a dozen coats.”
Jesus image by mike52ad; “Bitch Burger,” “I Have a Sign,” and “God Hates Ponies” by chada. All under Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0