I’m honored to have been skewered in Greater Greater Washington‘s local-transportation-themed April Fools entry, which imagines my feminist critique of a proposed D.C. streetcar system. Never thought I’d type that sentence. After reading a bit into the entry, I thought to myself, “Wait, did I say this?” before realizing that I’m a dumbass. To be fair, GGW’s Neil Flanagan does a really good me:

Other opponents have raised the danger that in-ground tracks might pose to pedestrians. The increased incidence of tripping and stubbed toes is a genuine concern for small-footed locals.Amanda Hess, writing in the City Paper’s Sexist blog, commented that “rails may disproportionately harm women, who are much more likely to be wearing heels,” saying that the supporters might have darker motives.

“The image of a woman fallen onto the rails of a train merely recapitulates a sexist image of a woman in need of saving before a big scary train,” she wrote. “Sorry, the train died with vaudeville. No doubt, there are many ‘Nice Guy’ transit fans just waiting for this possibility. Just because you help a woman up, doesn’t mean she wants you to take her back to your apartment for a little dissertation on railway signaling. Trust me, she probably doesn’t want to see your lunar signal, vintage or not.”

Exactly.

Photo via Franco Folini, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0