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Last week, feminism met “Male Studies“—-it’s like “Men’s Studies,” but with less of our gender-construction meddling, and more emphasis on the “male as male.” After meeting Male Studies, feminists discussed Male Studies, and then we made fun of it a bit, and then a little bit more. And then, in the comments sections of these posts, we heard from the new class of Male Studies scholars, some of whom believe us to be a bunch of cunts who ought to shoot ourselves in the brain.

Some guys and gals in the Male Studies set, however, had questions for our kind. A feminist answers Male Studies’ most burning queries, after the jump:

Since I can’t think more than one thought at the same time, and I get distracted easily due to my inherent brain defect caused by my penis, could I get your call on whether men bleed when pricked so I can have a certified opinion sanctioned by your division of the sisterhood?

No.

I know of no woman who is raped daily, do you?

Not personally, but in some countries, that’s actually legal. However, if you believe that every woman must be raped daily in order for you to care about sexual assault. . . then you are probably a Male Studies scholar.

Are you drunk?

Often!

????? WTF? What does criminal law have to do with this. Are you asserting that women’s studies prevents rape? That male studies would promote rape? That you are clueless?

Women’s Studies does help work to prevent rape, but I’m not sure Male Studies does anything other than complain that I have a blog and pave the way for the rise of something called “teleconferencing scholars.”

Whose rape is made into a punchline?

Prisoners, among others. And feminists really don’t support any of that, trust me.

Who isn’t taken seriously when they claim domestic violence or rape—-conversely, who is shoved into prison and subjected to humiliating medical examinations, because women are automatically believed when they cry rape, truthfully or not?

Male rape victims are often not taken seriously (or not heard at all), and that is a serious problem. Also a serious problem? That female rape victims are not taken seriously. And that victims, male and female, are actually denied the right to receive a humiliating medical examination because they are automatically not believed when they cry rape.

Who is convicted more often, receives longer sentences, and with less chance of parole, for the same crimes as women?

Black men.

If you think you have it so hard why not trade places? Have the guys sit at home and play housewife while you get marched off to your death for god and country? Have the guys get in the lifeboats with the kids with you go down with the ship?

This feminist opposes war, the draft, God, and the outmoded gender roles upon which ship-sinking etiquette is based. That being said, I’m afraid that if we actually traded places, I would be forced to sit at a computer and file nonsensical blog comments expressing outrage at outmoded gender analogies that I am unwilling to work to deconstruct, for I am an anti-feminist blog troll, in this scenario. So yes, in this case, women do have it better.

Can you not see that, thanks to feminism, virtually everything is getting worse for EVERYONE except PUAs and people who do not want to be burdened with children!?

Since I fall into the natural category of “Pick-Up Artist and/or person who does not want to be burdened with children,” I’m afraid I’m not able to objectively answer this question. Who would have thought that feminism would end up just benefiting me and the writers of misogynistic dating books? Oh well.

Do you really believe Male Studies was established to win the approval of women? You are an idiot. I sure hope you can do something useful, like cook. Because if you can’t, I can only imagine you’d make a lousy wife. What are you good at, anyway? Why don’t you post a picture of your tits?

I don’t believe Male Studies was established to win the approval of women, but I do bake a mean zucchini bread, and I imagine I would make a lousy wife. The reason that I don’t post a picture of my tits is that despite your stated support of women posting pictures of our tits, you guys actually really despise us when we do that shit voluntarily.

Who said we are here to listen to you? Do you really believe Male Studies was established so that we may listen to the voices of women? Good Lord, your imbecility is breathtaking.

I would never assume that you would come over to my blog in order to listen to me.

Why is it that when the topic is MEN’S issues, MEN’S experiences, and MEN’S lives we (men) are STILL being told to sit down, shut up, and listen?

Probably because the topic is always men’s issues, experiences, and lives, seeing as your main argumentative tactic when presented with women’s issues, experiences, and lives is to immediately change the subject back to men, and then assert that women aren’t allowed to talk about that stuff, so that we ought to sit down and shut up.

Well, I wonder if this posting will make it past the censor?

Yes.

Is the washington city paper even real?

Yes.

Are there any good feminist blogs out there at all?

Oh, yes! I quite like the lady over at Tiger Beatdown. And the folks at Feministing, Feministe, and Jezebel also provide interesting feminist content on the regular. The Ch!cktionary and Scarleteen are always swell for 20-somethings and teenagers, respectively, and you might also enjoy the work of fantastic feminist bloggers like Jaclyn Friedman, S.E. Smith, Cara Kulwicki, Shark-Fu, and C.L. Minou. Thomas McAulay Millar and Hugo Schwyzer provide a much-needed male perspective, though you’ll have to ask them if they’re sufficiently “male as male.” And the bloggers over at Feminist Law Professors may satisfy your obvious thirst for scholarship.

Is there a “Scrotum Dialogues” somewhere that has escaped my attention that just as bizarrely as its sister counterpart worships the male appendage, and which has similarly taken the world by storm that has men everywhere worshipping their dicks and shouting the word “prick” to declare their ownership of their masculinity?

A Google search reveals that a commenter on the blog Too Much Free Time wrote a short scene entitled the “Scrotum Dialogues” in a 2004 comment on a review of the television program Big Brother 5.

Do you consider male homosexuality to be something dirty or insulting, Amanda? If not, why are you imagining that your enemies are homosexuals or attempting to slander them by painting them as homosexuals?

Nope! I am not doing that!

It is unfortunate men have to start building its own collective unity, why where they left on the side of the road, did they not invent and build what constitute the foundation of civilization, did they not discover cures and treatments for diseases, did they not fight so all can live in a free world, they did not leave women and children to fetch for themselves. Why did men accept to be withdraw and denied credit from the same people who they have created a better world?

I have no idea what you’re saying.

I think this article is an example of why men cant take feminists seriously. Are you kidding me?

Yes.

Do you wear a drool-cup?

No, I wear a CockBib.