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Finally, it is upon us: The incomprehensible defense of Ben Roethlisberger to end all incomprehensible defenses of Ben Roethlisberger. On NPR today, sportswriter Frank Deford goes all Andy Rooney on rape, arguing that we should turn sexual predators into role models and “let the thugs play.” Please listen to the segment—-if only because at one point, Deford uses the word “hoosegow”—-but I’ve summarized his thesis for you here: “Why do I have so many shoes? Who wants a fat-free Fig Newton? Why does everyone care about this rape business? Bram Stoker never benched Dracula for six chapters, so why should Roethlisberger be treated any differently? In conclusion, football > stopping rape.”

Photo via LZ Creations, Creative Commons License 2.0