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During my travels throughout the world of forgotten patent applications, I came across the Pelvic Extension Frame, patented by C. William Hanson, III in 2006. The device is mainly therapeutic in nature—-it intends to “isolate the pelvis” in order to help athletes improve “pelvic stability” and “pelvic rotation.”

It also, of course, helps people walk sexier. “With respect to beauty, while the term ‘a sexy walk’ is part of the common parlance, its definition is analogous to the definition of pornography—’I know it when I see it,'” Hanson writes. “Catwalk models are trained to walk in such a way as to exaggerate the motion of the pelvis. There is currently no device that can be used to develop a ‘sexy walk.’ By visually amplifying the motions of the pelvis, an individual can be trained to exaggerate the movement of the pelvis and thereby develop a ‘sexy’ walk.”

Skeptical? You see that sexy walker in Figure 4, amplifying the motions of his pelvis? I know it when I see it.