On Saturday, I had the honor of marching in the 2010 Capital Pride Pride alongside Miss. D.C. Jen Corey and other City Paper luminaries. Here’s what I learned:

1. People like you a lot more when you are throwing candy necklaces in their general direction. You’ll never experience true power until you act as the intermediary between a sweaty crowd of drunk people and a pick-up truck filled with 5,000 candy necklaces. And you will never experience true indifference until you act as the intermediary between a sweaty crowd of drunk people and a pick-up truck that has recently run out of candy necklaces.

Jen Corey with the City Paper team

2. Attempt to make eye contact before chucking a candy necklace at someone. I conked a few heads. And one dog. I’m sorry, dog.

3. People like you a lot more when you are walking directly behind Miss D.C. Have you run out of candy necklaces? Just start walking directly behind Miss D.C. in any sort of parade situation. People won’t be yelling and waving their arms directly at you, but they will at least be fawning in your general direction. Specifically, a few feet in front of you.

4. “The Sexist” doesn’t exactly transfer too well to the sash. The most common reaction to CP‘s fleet of “The Sexist” sashes: “Wooo! The sexiest!” A typical exchange: “But how can you all be the sexiest?” one guy asked me. “No, no, The Sexist,” I said. “But how can you all be the sexiest?” he replied. He took my photo.

5. Even Pride Parades need copy editors:

Sash photo by Darrow Montgomery.