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This story comes to you from beyond the furthest fringe of the D.C. metro area in Chester Pennsylvania, where my friend Jason Kilpatrick recently bought a dumpy five-unit apartment building that he fixed up and is now renting to international students at nearby Widener University.
He purchased the property in June, and began cleaning it out immediately after. One apartment proved particularly challenging: The previous tenant, a man in his late twenties who’d lived there for roughly five years, left a lot of junk, many a Heineken bottle, and an insane amount of change all over the apartment, in every room. I’ll just let him tell the story:
The change was everywhere, even in the bathroom. You know what it reminds me of when I look back? A wishing well. It was on the floor and in the closet. In the kitchen, the change was on the countertops—stuck on the countertops, like with syrup. The floors were the same way. It was underneath the carpet. The unit was infested with change. The change had hair in it—-it was just disgusting.
We put some of it in boxes. He had some change in cardboard boxes, so we just put that in my truck. We put some of the change inside a trash bag…There were about seven boxes and containers. We had a whole shoebox full of change. There was a Gatorade bottle. We had to make two trips to my truck to get it in to the bank.
We were in there, in the bank, with all this change. All you do is dump your change in this change-reading machine. People were looking at us like we were crazy. We clogged up the machine. The machine had to be opened up and fixed, because it just started messing up. Then, finally after it was done counting, we almost fell over, because I couldn’t believe how much I just made. We had made bets about how much it was going to be. I thought $180. We were way off. I think it was $487.