Sign up for our free newsletter

Free D.C. news, delivered to your inbox daily.

There’s only one thing you can get away with in front of Mayor Adrian Fenty‘s Crestwood abode. If you are desperate, you can park behind the empty 4th District police cruiser and the scary unmarked Crown Vic. You can then turn on your lap top and start stealing WiFi.

It’s tricky. The strength indicator varies depending on how you cradle the machine on your thighs. If you aim your laptop towards Fenty’s home, your signal only gets stronger.

Unfortunately, this is about all the access you will be getting.

If you wanted to physically approach the house, you will not get very far. Forget about dropping by unannounced.

We got to the third flagstone on the walkway to the guard house before a D.C. Cop jumped out from behind the tinted glass and ordered us to “step back!”

“We don’t let nobody approach,” the cop warned.

What about on Halloween, we asked.

“I’m not allowed to give out that information,” the cop said.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery. Text by Jason Cherkis.