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Mie N Yu 3125 M Street, NW

“Kama Sutra” Absolut Ruby Red Sake A splash of Champagne Lychee puree Garnished with a lychee fruit

Brian’s take: For me, the Kama Sutra was all about the texture—smooth as a baby’s behind, if a baby’s behind were peppered with chewy bits of lychee pulp. This artini was light and refreshing, so you could easily drink several. I did. This also meant that I ate several lychee garnishes, which was an eye-opening cultural experience for someone so provincial as I.

One beautiful bargoer demonstrated for the camera her erotic lychee-eating technique (she had clearly practiced), but the whole affair was so lewd, so ribald, so altogether inappropriate, that we simply couldn’t post a video of it online for fear that the FCC might subject us to a waterboard.

Many folks at the bar wondered what the hell a lychee fruit is. The best way of describing it is that it looks like a scallop, chews like a scallop, but tastes like a fruit. In hopes of further edifying the masses, here’s what Merriam-Webster has to say about it:

lychee (or litchi; also lichee) 1: the oval fruit of a Chinese tree (Litchi chinensis) of the soapberry family having a hard scaly reddish outer covering and sweet whitish edible flesh that surrounds a single large seed —called also lychee nut. 2: a tree bearing lychees.

Lychee: The Other White Fruit.

On a scale of 1-5 olive branches: 3

Ted’s take: The Kama Sutra artini has a bouquet that improves on acquaintance. An appealing if somewhat promiscuous cocktail, it is a martini in only the loosest sense of the word. Really, it’s something closer to a love affair in a glass, minus the awkward first date and the gut-wrenching breakup. While the sake provides a bite to counter the lychees, the vodka-champagne synergy keeps things boozy and effervescent. Soon, hints of elderberry and rose pips will waft from the rim of the chilled martini glass, and you will find that what the drink lacks in maturity it more than makes up for in panache. On a scale of 1-5 olive branches: 3

Customer Takes:

“I don’t know what a lychee fruit is, but it tastes like sex.”

“I also enjoyed the lychee fruit, although it was a little meaty.”

“It’s pretty delicious, but I think it belies the name. I’ve always thought of kama sutra as something, you know, sultry and relaxing, and it’s got a bite. But the garnish was kind of sultry.”

Artistic Invocations:

Wasily Kandinsky Mirot Edward Hopper