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Ingrid Newkirk is the founder of PETA, the animal rights organization known for exposing skin to save animal hides. Newkirk’s latest attention-grabbing gimmick is to turn her will into a final statement about animal cruelty and meat-eating. Among the “suggested directions” of her will:

  • That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, and that flesh foods are not needed;

  • That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same and that neither is “fabric” nor needed, and that some skin be tacked up outside the Indian Leather Fair each year to serve as a reminder of the government’s need to abate the suffering of Indian bullocks who, after a life of extreme and involuntary servitude, as I have seen firsthand, are exported all over the world in this form;
  • That in remembrance of the elephant-foot umbrella stands and tiger rugs I saw, as a child, offered for sale by merchants at Connaught Place in Delhi, my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them, as a reminder of the depravity of killing innocent animals, such as elephants, in order that we might use their body parts for household items and decorations;
  • That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching the agency until it stops poisoning and torturing animals in useless and cruel experiments; that the other is to be used as PETA sees fit;

I know one dude who would not have a problem eating Newkirk nuggets.

And not to nitpick here, but Ingrid, what’s up with the apparent age-shaving on the press release, which says you’re 53? Other sources, including the Financial Times and Wiki, say you’re closer to 60.