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In case you missed all the excitement—-playing tennis and bubble hockey in the morning! drinking at noon! picking out flatware in the afternoon!—-I spent the day with nightlife mogul Joe Englert as part of our Average Day experiment to chronicle daily life in messy, tedious, nearly Proustian detail. It turns out that Englert is not so mogul-icious after all. No blood was spilled during the day, though insults flowed like hot tap water at Starbucks (and just why the hell do baristas let that tap run forever?).

Here’s my day with Joe in five episodes: