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It’s nice to see the new, streamlined ABC News using its resources wisely. The news-gatherers recently put together an online slide show dedicated to lousy celebrity tippers. It carries the not-clever-enough headline: “Check please? Tip, maybe.”

It clicked through all 12 celebs. I feel gross.

What sort of miserable existence must a person have to delight in the fact that some multi-million-dollar bimbo like Mariah Carey occasionally stiffs a waiter? Or that Paul McCartney—-excuse me, Sir Paul McCartney—-once apparently got so properly pissed that he couldn’t leave a tip?

You know what? I love the fact that McCartney once got so properly pissed that he forgot to leave a tip.

Sure, it sucks for the wait staff to kiss a celebrity’s ass for two hours, only to walk home with pennies on the dollar, if that. But the celebrities know that, in many cases, they’re leaving the server with something of more value: a story to tell for the rest of their lives.

C’mon, what stiffed waiter or waitress hasn’t told every friend/ acquaintance/subway rider the story of when Madonna, that bitch,jerked them around on the tip? Some of the stories even make it into print, like when Mick Jagger left a measly $10 on a $90 meal at Pizzeria Paradiso.

Think the bad publicity embarrassed Jagger? Changed his ways?

I doubt it.

I mean, does it really surprise anyone that a certain percentage of celebrities are lousy tippers? Why should they be any different than the rest of the population, which is filled with cheapskates. Somehow we want to think that millions of dollars transforms a skinflint into a saint.

I don’t think it works that way.

Photo by Alan Light