Michael Y. Park over at Epicurious decided to take matters into his own hands. He made his own White Castle “Slyders®.”

As someone who spent many late hours in Missouri, where you can actually slosh your way into a White Castle at 3 a.m. and slur out an order, I understand the magnetic, Harold & Kumar pull of these greasy little squares of ground beef. They’re sort of the morning after pill for stoners.

But the idea of making your own White Castles strikes me as counterintuitive. If you’re sober enough to make your own sliders, you’re sober enough to want something much better. The draw of White Castle is its relentless appeal to our reptilian brains, which wants nothing more than sex, grease, and to drive cars really fast while under the influence. Just to clarify, White Castle supplies the grease part only—as far as I know.

Check out Park’s recipe for homemade Slyders. It’s cobbled together from various online recipes and includes one absolutely nauseating ingredient: beef-flavored baby food.

So what did Park think of his Slyder clones? He writes:

Not a bullseye, but a lot closer to the real thing than expected, and I feel I could probably get it very close on my second attempt … not that there will necessarily be one. Right now, there are about two dozen White Castle clones in Ziploc bags in my freezer, awaiting their chance at freedom the next time I stumble home with a severe hankering for Slyders at 4 in the morning. In other words, I think I ought to be set at least till 2010.

Photo courtesy of Epicurious.