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Good beer drinkers (myself included) love to malign the yellow fizz companies for cutting their barley with cheap stand-ins like corn and rice, but apparently Bud has been waving their rice flag high all along. It’s right there on the can: “using the choicest hops, rice and best barley malt.” That “rice” doesn’t appear to be described by “choicest” won’t be lost on grammar geeks (myself included, again). But what about this longer description?

This is the famous Budweiser beer. We know of no brand produced by any other brewer which costs so much to brew and age. Our exclusive Beechwood Aging produces a taste, a smoothness and a drinkability you will find in no other beer at any price.

I’ve heard about this beechwood business — the beer’s not barrel-aged, but rather brewed with some wood chips in the tank (though the chips are first boiled to remove flavor). But what about “no brand…which costs so much to brew and age” — is that just left on for kitsch? And for how many decades was the word “drinkability” staring Anheuser-Busch marketers in the face before they decided to make it an ad campaign?

I suppose you’re wondering what I was doing with a can of Bud in the first place. I was on a train home, and Amtrak lacks somewhat in the beer department. But I only succumbed after drinking the Bear Republic Racer 5 and Stone IPA that I snuck on the train, I swear. I just have a fear of traveling sober.