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Not officially, of course.  But servers at restaurants often labor under more rules than a slaughterhouse worker. Well, definitely more than a slaughterhouse worker actually follows.

I mention this because of Bruce Buschel‘s latest post on his delightful Start-Up Chronicle blog for The New York Times. (If you haven’t read his posts yet on starting up a seafood restaurant, do yourself the favor, particularly this self-deprecating masterstroke.) In his latest post, Buschel lists 50 of the 100 things that restaurant staffers should never do. It’s a tough list, and I’m not offended by it for one simple reason: He’s the boss. He can make his employees do whatever he wants.

Some of the don’ts on Buschel’s list:

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.

45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.

I hope diners don’t assume that this list fits all restaurants for all occasions. Because it doesn’t. Personally, if the waitress at my local diner doesn’t reek of last night’s bender, call me “honey,” tell me her boss is a cocksucker, act like I’m her BFF, and then ignore me for the next 30 minutes, I’ll feel like I haven’t visited a real diner.

Photo courtesy of the Seattle Municipal Archives, via Flickr Creative Commons, Attribution License