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All together now: It’s pronounced “A-beets.”
This is a random category, yes, and I’m not sure what it says other than that some putz kept this page open on his browser for hours, presumably while doing other things, like typing out TPS reports or surfing for porn.
But, hey, it’s amusing to speculate who kept each page open for so long. Please join the fun.
1. The Woodmont Grill’s $17 “Famous” French Dip Sandwich: Time spent on one page: 7 hours, 40 minutes, 47 seconds. Potential reason: Subway executives wondering if they could raise the price on their $5 foot long.
2. One Method to Save Money in a Recession? Encourage the Staff Not to Break the Stemware. Time spent on one page: 7 hours, 30 minutes, 50 seconds. Potential reason: Representatives from Riedel hatch a plan to offer larger rewards to employees who continue breaking stemware.
3. Young & Hungry Dining Guide by the Day: Pete’s Apizza. Time spent on one page: 5 hours, 14 minutes, 29 seconds. Potential reason: Administration staffers trying to figure out how to pronounce “apizza.”
4. Spike Mendelsohn Evicted from His Capitol Hill Rental House. Time spent on one page: 4 hours, 55 minutes, 16 seconds. Potential reason: Mendelsohn can’t get over how many spatulas he lost to looters.
5. What Did Your $10 Ticket Get You at the Safeway Barbecue Battle? Time spent on one page: 4 hours, 33 minutes, 40 seconds. Potential reason: Taste of Georgetown organizers wonder if they can charge $10 for nothing.
6. The Latest on Roberto Donna and the Resurrection of Galileo. Time spent on one page: 4 hours, 10 minutes, 50 seconds. Potential reason: Donna’s new landlord wondering if it’s too late to back out.
7. Don’t Ever Piss Off a Sushi Chef in Traffic. Time spent on one page: 3 hours, 43 minutes, 55 seconds. Potential reason: Local cooking school tries to track down chef to teach knife skills class.
9. A Lighter Look at Mad Cow Disease. Time spent on one page: 3 hours, 21 minutes, 29 seconds. Potential reason: The USDA doing research.
10. Porkslap: A Pale Ale for the Common Pig in All of Us. Time spent on one page: 3 hours, 16 minutes, 40 seconds. Potential reason: Drunk fell asleep at his computer.
Photo by Darrow Montgomery