First of all, as Jason Cherkis sort of points out while waiting for the heavens and check-out lines to move at Harris Teeter yesterday, people need to get a grip about the pending Snowmageddon. We’re getting a couple feet of snow, not two feet of nuclear fall0ut.

This is a winter storm, people, not The Road. You likely have enough food in your pantry already to survive a week-long stand-off with ATF agents (you know, if that’s your thing). You don’t need to stock up on frozen pizzas, toilet paper, and whale blubber. If you have to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday without your precious Doritos 3D’s Zesty Ranch chips, so be it. Thaw some of that crap that’s been in the deep-freeze for months.

Second of all, think back all the way to December. The streets were mostly passable the following day after a storm that dropped 20-some inches of snow in the area! You’ll be out of the house in no time.

Third, if you really need to get groceries today, go to Target. Carrie just got back from there after trying two legit grocery stores that were, essentially, restaging the opening scene from The Gangs of New York. Target was civilized.