If the Super Delicious Ingredient Force is part of Taco Bell‘s plan to build an icon as cuddly to kids as Ronald McDonald, I have just one small piece of advice: You might want to rethink the cartoon character that looks like it was pinched out by a Labrador.

I mean, seriously, doesn’t Commander Seasoned Beef look like a dog turd in tights? Surely a child’s need for fantasy superheroes can’t be so cheaply co-opted by this Super Friends knockoff.

The message Taco Bell wants to get across is as poorly conceived as Commander Seasoned Beefhead: that a three-item meal for $2 — which includes a bag of Doritos — is somehow morally superior and more flavorful than, say, a Happy Meal or something.

Consider this quote from a trio of shirtless, fist-pumping French fries dressed in hip-hugging khakis:

“In today’s economy, people could care less what their food tastes like. We’re cheap and easy, and we’re their only option. Hahaha!”

Yeah, as opposed to that Taco Bell $2 Meal Deal, which is obviously built on fruit, veggies, and Niman Ranch beef? If that TB $2 meal doesn’t represent the height of flavor-added food industrialization, I don’t know what does.

For some reason, the whole cynical attitude of this Taco Bell campaign reminds me of what James McMurtry wrote in “We Can’t Make It Here Anymore,” a righteously angry song about faceless power sticking it to the people for their own profit:

Let ’em eat jellybeans, let ’em eat cake

Let ’em eat shit, whatever it takes

They can join the Air Force, or join the Corps

If they can’t make it here anymore