Adams Morgan has a new lunch option: the Uptowner Cafe and Market. The operation, located in the old Caribou space on 18th Street, is less a deli than So’s Your Mom, but it sells pre-made sushi rolls, for those too lazy to walk to Harris Teeter. The grilled chicken with mozz, tomatoes, and generous sprinkles of dry rosemary, is good enough for those looking for a quick  bite. But the best part of the Uptowner, at least for now: Free cookies during its grand opening!

Onto the rest of the news:

• A famous New York cop gets stopped at the Capitol for carrying a concealed carrot. [NY Post]
• More chains infiltrating Union Station. We continue to maintain our conspiracy theory. [DCist]

• The most predictable news since Frank Morales‘  latest departure: the Diamond District is dead. [WBJ‘s Top Shelf blog]
• Jin owners to open a spot in another trendy ‘hood. [Prince of Petworth]
• Roasted pig! A chili cook-off! Roasted blue crabs! Must be Memorial Day. [Metrocurean]
• Downtown Gifford’s is poised to cool off our summer. [DCist]
• José Andrés steals a page from Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, messes with a meal progression.  [NBC New York]
• The highs and lows of Timothy Dean: Top Chef contestant one day, filing bankruptcy papers the next. [Baltimore Sun‘s Dining@Large]
• And some old-but-sad news: Spezie has closed. Back in a day, I really liked the place. [WaPo‘]
• Oh, one more thing: Hipster beer drinking (do people really use that phrase anymore?) just got a whole lot more expensive. [WSJ via AP]