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Y&H has learned more about competitive eating in the last five minutes than he’s known in the last five years. For instance: Who knew, outside a few people with obscenely stretched stomachs, that there is an organization called Major League Eating? Or that it demands exclusivity among its competitors? Or that one rogue masticator decided to buck the system? And that it would cost Takeru Kobayashi a place at the table at the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest?

Or that this banned face stuffer would bum rush the stage on Sunday? And face a flock of NYPD’s finest?And that people would yell “Free Kobi” as if this rebellious wiener eater were Nelson Mandela?