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Allow me to offer a disclaimer before I start: You can trust my picks for the District’s best shopping districts as much as you can trust Bernie Madoff‘s financial advice. Through years of selective focus, I can walk through any neighborhood and ignore all manner of shoe shops, clothing stores, and perfumeries, my mind singularly focused on the latest eatery to open its doors.

As such, you’ll have to cut me some friggin’ slack if I missed one of your favorite shopping meccas. This ain’t my area of expertise. So, with that in mind, here are the best neighborhoods to mix shopping and eating on Black Friday, the day that I personally plan to stay at home, far from the marauding hordes armed with their razor-sharp plastic cards.

Good luck with your shopping on Friday, and please, someone, let me know when it’s over.